Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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