roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
