just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
