Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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