Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
