There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We are all done wearing pants today
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
