went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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