All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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