her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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