You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
