well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
