What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
