I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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