I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
