I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
