Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
