Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish you could order shots online.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
