i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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