No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
