thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
