I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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