proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
ttyl tear gas
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
