Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FUCK WHALES
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