Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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