when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
