if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
