so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Life is so much better after having sex.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
