I just made out with a guy for $7.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
