it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
