If i come over, it means nothing
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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