11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize