You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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