We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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