ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
