My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
