Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
