No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
