hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
