it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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