went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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