Don't you send me to vm
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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