Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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