It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
