Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
where are my eyebrows?
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