It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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