Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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