I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
