i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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