My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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