u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
