great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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