your parents love me but you hate me
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We have started to decorate penises.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
