she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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