it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
