Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
