R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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